Our New Life
Even these days I still feel a tremendous sorrow for my
broken marriage and lost love. But back then all I could feel was a very strong
force to save my children, and provide them with a decent life. I knew my
husband needed help, but I could not give it to him. I did not tell anybody a
word about my tragic decision, but I just knew somehow I would find the way to
do it. One day one of our friends came to visit and brought along a very
sympathetic Hungarian couple. Maria and Kari were some years older then us and
I felt very comfortable with them. Their two children were just about Louis and
Judy's age, because this was Kari's second marriage. They left Hungary the same
way we did, however it was much harder for them with their two young children.
I invited them to come and visit again to get to know each other better. Next
time they came Judy and Louis were at school, and I was home alone with little
George. I took a deep breath and confided in them our sad and hopeless
situation. I also told them about my intention to file for a divorce. They felt
very sorry for me, but never expressed a doubt for my planned actions. They
were understanding and offered their sincere help. Kari is gone of some years
to his well-deserved rest, but after more than 40 years, Maria is still my
closest friend.
A few days later they took me to an attorney and I filed
for the divorce. On one morning Lajos was served with the papers, and I was
very sorry that this had to happen like that. After Lajos left for work, I
realized that we could not stay here for the time being, and called Maria. I
packed a small bag with the few necessary clothes and some of our documents.
Kari and Maria came to take us to their home, and we stayed there for the next
few weeks. I put through a phone call to my lawyer, and after a week the Court
issued a Restriction Order for Lajos to vacate the house. The date also was set
for my first hearing.
There was not much to do but call Mady and tell her where
we are at and why. I do not think that she was shocked, but mildly surprised
and expressed her intention to help. In a few days, she came and met Maria and
Kari. Kari had to go and get her, and very discreetly she gave some money to
him for our food. The children had coped very well and had a good time playing
with Katie and Tom, my friends children. Kari was teaching me to drive with his
1949 Lincoln with the overdrive. I was very grateful, but that old car handled
just like a tank, and we knew I would never pass my driving test with it. Kari
found an ad for a used Edsel, and with Mady's help again, I bought it for a
very cheap price. Unfortunately, the car was a lemon, but served its purpose to
learn and pass my driving test, quite aggravatingly, on the third attempt.
Lajos had moved out from the house and we moved back home. It was time for us,
because Kari had to drive Louis and Judy back and forth to school while we were
staying at heir house. I took up my embroidery and ironing work again, and
phoned my friends with the bad news. I was not surprised that some of them
questioned the rightness of my action.
With Maria and Kari's children at their home in Arcadia,
CA. in February 1966. Mady took this picture.
The first hearing at the Court was held in February 1966.
An attorney represented Lajos, he did not bother to show up. Maria and Kari
came with us to the Courthouse, and they waited outside with the children in
the lobby. The Judge awarded the children with some child support paid weekly
by their Dad and also alimony for the wife. No arbitrary meeting was called
for. The final hearing was set for a year later. The year went by fast, and
neither child support, nor alimony was paid. I think by then Louis and Judy
must have understood that their Dad was not coming back. We visited some of our
friends, but we spent the most time with Maria's family. After the school was
out we even managed to take the children to Disneyland. In July Kari and the
family were driving up to Northern California, and offered us a ride to the Bay
Area to visit Marika and Laci. I was looking forward of seeing my old friends,
the only problem was that the three adults and four children would not all fit
in Kari's car. I had to leave little Judy behind with her Godmother and family
for a week. We had a wonderful visit, but Kari and Maria could not pick us up
on the way home, because their car broke down; the axel gave out, and took
several days to have it fixed. I had no money for the return flight, but Marika
and Laci generously bought our tickets to fly home. We could not have stayed
any longer, because little Judy had to be picked up from her Godmother's.
Marika, Laci and daughter Agi with Louis and me at the
other side of Golden Gate bridge in July 1966, with San Francisco in the
background.
Christmas that year was somewhat plain, but we still had
a Christmas tree in our living room. In 1967 February the divorce got
finalized, and the house was awarded to the children, and Lajos kept his car.
And, of course, I got the children. Lajos did not show up again, and had not
made any payments on his duties. Maria and Kari sold their home and moved 60
miles west to Camarillo, a small town among avocado and citrus orchards. Kari
had retired on disability and his health required a cleaner air environment.
During that time I was busy fixing up our house, because I had decided to sell
it. Didn't take too long to get a buyer and we were ready to move out. Then I
got rid of the Edsel and bought a used 1964 Chevrolet, a very dependable
vehicle. I put the children into the car and drove down to Camarillo looking
for a house to buy. We all needed a change in a peaceful small town environment
to prosper. With my friends already living there, I had no problem to find a
three bedrooms and two baths house with a lovely garden. What was left from the
equity of the old house after I bought my car was put into the down payment for
the new house. I had even some money left for our living expenses until I could
find a job. We moved to Camarillo on Labor Day's weekend and George started
Kindergarten right after that. However, finding a job was not that easy for me.
I had no American qualifications, my English still was not fluent, and I had
three young children at home. After I was turned down few times, I decided to
look for house cleaning jobs. The local papers were full with want ads, and
pretty soon I was working 4-6 hours daily while my children were at school.
The Wikipedia entry for Camarillo.
Doing that kind of work gave me the chance to meet a few
very nice people, among them a lovely older couple, who were later on to became
my mentor, and friends. They kindly understood my situation and were telling me
about the different opportunities that I might take to better myself. First of
all I had to take a GED test to make up for my missing high school diploma. The
test from the different subjects was given at Ventura in a High School, and
lasted for 3 days. My next step was to enroll in a business course at the
College, thru the State Employment Office with their financial help. This was a
necessity, because I had to drop a few of my cleaning jobs to make time for the
school. On Saturdays, I was still doing house cleaning for my mentor and their
neighbor, also a very nice older couple. I was also applying for my Citizenship
and had to study American Government and History. After I had finished the
business course I got a clerical job with a Management Company in Ventura. The
owner of the company let me work only 6 hours a day, that way I was home from
work by the time the kids came back from school. It was at this time that the
local news paper took an interest in me and came to the house to do an
interview and took some pictures of us.
Here I am studying hard at Ventura College, CA. in 1969
and the picture from the Camarillo Daily News which shows me reading my escape
diary to my children.
The children progressed well in school, and made lots of
good friends. They never gave me any hardship or any problems and I considered
myself very lucky to have them.
George, Louis and Judy with Fluffy in our backyard at
Camarillo, 1969 and the Children with me at the front of our home in Camarillo,
December, 1970.
From home came the sad news that my beloved Aunt,
Keresztem has passed away. She just followed Keresztapuka, whom she had nursed
faithfully until his last breath of life. My Mother moved in 1971 to Sopron
from Klotildliget to be close to Rezso and Family, where they had relocated
before Editke was born. My Mother had had a bad accident in Klotildliget some
years before, slipped on the icy steps and broke her thigh bone connecting to
her hips. She was walking with two canes since the accident and had aged
considerably.
Keresztem and Keresztapuka on their balcony looking over
Ferenc Blvd. Budapest. Picture was taken in the 1960s.
Mami (my Mother) with Editke and little Rezso, my
Brother's children in Sopron in the early 1970's..
During that time Lajos had started to pay the weekly
child support thru the Court Trustee. He took up his visiting rights and once a
month or so came up from San Gabriel for the day to see the children. Usually
that happened on Sundays, and he was taking them out to the school yard to play
ball. Sometimes he took them out to dinner and I went along for the children's
sake. We never talked about what had happened in the past, it was better to
leave it alone for all concerned. One summer the kids went with their Dad to
Carlsbad, San Diego County, for a few days of vacation. In the following years,
he came for some of the Christmas holidays with presents for the children who
also gave few presents to him.
Louis, Judy and George with their Dad at Camarillo in
1974, Christmas.
In 1971 the Management Company where I worked was
relocated to Santa Barbara and I had to quit my job. It was very unfortunate,
but life had to go on and I reverted again to my house cleaning jobs. On the
urge of my mentor I prepared my job applications and applied for different
Government jobs, mainly for the security and good benefits offered. In a few
weeks I got two offers, and I chose the temporary secretarial position at the
close-by Navy Base. With my background, I was having problems to adapt to the
new, very different ways of the Navy conducting their correspondence and had to
learn everything from the Manuals and Directives. After my temporary status
expired, and as soon as an opening was available, I transferred to the
Accounting Department, where I started my gradual, upward career as an
accountant.
One day in April of 1975 two policemen came to our door
with the very sad news that Lajos was dead. He had collapsed at work and died
in the ambulance, a few days before his 50th birthday. He came visiting on the
weekend before, and took the kids out to play ball, as usual. When they came
back, Judy was telling me that Dad couldn't throw the ball, because his arm was
hurting. I got alarmed, because his family had a history of heart related
problems. I urged him to go to a specialist and have it checked out. Obviously,
he didn't do it. It was very sad that his life ended up like this, but he could
not control the sickness of his gambling; he was betting on the horses up to
the last day of his life. His ashes were scattered in the Rosa Garden at the
Odd Fellows Cemetery in Los Angeles.
As for my own sentiment, I can best describe it with this
old poem by author Veronica A. Shofftstall that I found in a news paper over 30
years ago.
Veronica A Shofftstall's 1971 poem and me.
- Home Page
- My Parents and our Family
- The Lean Years after World
War II
- The Turning Point and Escape
- My new Family in a new
Country
- Our New
Life
- Visits and Achievements
- My Second Marriage
- Travels and Changes
- The Golden Years
- Reflections
Copyright ©
Jutka
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